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Sunday March 14th 2010, 7:44 pm
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& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

& Law of Gravity
Any tool, or pill, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

& Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

&
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

&
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

&
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

&
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

&
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

&
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

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Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilson‘s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

& Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better.┬áDon’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.